Went out for some refreshing adult beverages with Eva, Jon, Franny, and Mike last night. Among the topics discussed: whether Eva's brand new Mercedes convertible is too intimidating to men. Jon felt that it might put off some guys, making them feel too nervous to ask her out. I think those that it would put off are either shallow or wimps, and she's better off without them anyway.

But why mince words. I think Eva should get vanity plates to spell it out for them:

2 TUF 4U

YOU WISH

BTR THNU

INTIMID8

Found a very funny page called "The Dialectizer." You can enter the URL of a website (like this one) and it will show you the same page "translated" into a variety of dialects like Jive, Cockney, Elmer Fudd. My personal favorite is Redneck. So check it out and see how it looks.

We haven't had any good monkey news in a while. Apparently the old theory that an infinite number of monkeys given an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare has been proven wrong.

Give six monkeys one computer for a month, and they will make a mess.

Researchers at Plymouth University in England reported this week that primates left alone with a computer attacked the machine and failed to produce a single word.

[Writer's block?]

At first, said Phillips, "the lead male got a stone and started bashing the hell out of it.

"Another thing they were interested in was in defecating and urinating all over the keyboard," added Phillips, who runs the university's Institute of Digital Arts and Technologies.

Eventually, monkeys Elmo, Gum, Heather, Holly, Mistletoe and Rowan produced five pages of text, composed primarily of the letter S. Later, the letters A, J, L and M crept in.

Maybe they could make vanity plates . . .

MNKYRNCH

SEA MNKY

MNKY BIZ

Quote du jour:

"Ford!" he said, "there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out."

-- Douglas Adams,
The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy

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